Is your over possessive nature killing your relationship?


When we love someone truly, madly we are ought to become possessive about them. It’s a human trait. And mind you, it is not a crime nor is it something to be ashamed of, if you are possessive for your partner. In fact, a relationship ceases to exist when you lose your possessiveness for someone you love. But just like every other thing in this world, excess of anything is bad…. this brings us to the question, "How much possessive is enough?" "Is My Over Possessive Nature Killing My Relationship?” "What degree of possessiveness/jealousy do you think is healthy in a relationship?" "Possessiveness: Builds or ruins a relation?"

Here are some red flags that you should look out for:

1. They get extremely jealous and paranoid of “other women/men.”

If you talk to a man or woman, they want to know why. If you get a phone call from someone else, they want to know why. If you get a friend request from someone at work, they want to know why. This might spell severe guilt-tripping, emotional punishment, or even violence.

2. They stalk you.

Your partner keeps an eye on every little thing you do to the point of stalking you. This might include logging in to your social media accounts and checking your private messages, reading through your emails or text messages, checking your internet browser history, showing up unexpectedly while you’re out of the house, and so forth.

3. They wants to be a part of your every decision

Are you dating a partner who thinks that they should have the final say in everything you do?  Where you should go, what activities you should pursue, how often you should meet with your friends, and where you should work? If so, then they are certainly a highly jealous and controlling partner.

4. They suffers from terrible mood swings

If they seems to be in a good mood one minute, but acts strangely the next, precisely when you get a call from someone else, then it might indicate extreme insecurity. Watch out for mood swings and the frequency of their behavioural changes to assess jealousy is getting the better of them

5. They control what you wear.

Going out? Better make sure that you get approval from your partner! The possessive boyfriend, girlfriend or lover will always openly assess what you’re wearing to ensure that it is “appropriate” and to their standards.

6. Your Partner Disrespects You

Disrespect is often a sign of a possessive relationship. This might take the form of name-calling, rudeness, sarcasm or critical remarks. In some cases, the possessive individual’s goal is to make you feel worthless and incapable of finding another relationship by damaging your self-esteem. Possessive partners may also disrespect your career or academic choices.

 7. They are needy and clingy.


One key sign of a possessive boyfriend, girlfriend or partner is their tendency to remind you that “you are the center of their world” so much so that they need no other friends or social connections because they have you. While this is not always a sign of neediness or possessiveness, it is when they display anger or resentment towards your other friends, colleagues or family members.


8. Not respecting your need for time alone.

It's another way of sapping your strength: making you feel guilty for time you need on your own to recharge, or making you feel like you don't love them enough when you perhaps need less time with them than they need with you. It is natural that two partners may not automatically have the exact same needs in terms of alone time, even if they are both extroverts (or introverts).

9. Chronic criticism—even if it's 'small' things.

Criticism, like isolation, is also something that can start small.  Or they may try to rationalize it that it's not such a big deal that he or she doesn't like the way they dress or speak or eat or decorate their house and that they shouldn't take it personally. But ultimately, no matter how individually small a criticism seems, if it's part of a constant dynamic within your relationship, it would be very tough to feel accepted, loved, or validated

10. Isolating you from friends and family.

It may start subtley, but this is often a first step for a controlling person. Maybe they complain about how often you talk to your brother on the phone, or say they don't like your best friend and don't think you should hang out with her anymore. Or they try to turn you against anyone that you're used tongth—so that you will be less likely or able to stand up against them whenever they want to "win." relying on for support besides them. Their goal is to strip you of your support network, and thus your stre